Hibernate.

It's that time of year again.

The cold, the stress, the tears.

Except this year, combine it with a new county, new people, new projects and new authoritative figures.

I've been at Hull Uni for (coming up to) 10 weeks now, and I've settled in better than anyone thought I would. But then there are days where I just need to be at home. Today is one of those days.

Most of my housemates went home for this weekend, leaving me, Shem and Adam here. We've all become pretty insociable and when I woke up this afternoon, I was automatically upset. It could be because nobody came to visit this weekend, it could be because I miss everyone or it could be because I wish I went home too. Probably a combination of all.
This week I missed the Light a Light procession for St. Barnabas Hospice. I go every year and had to miss it this year 'cos I'm stuck out here and had a seminar on Wednesday. Today I really just feel like going "Fuck this" and taking the next train home. But I can't. Or I just want someone - family, a friend from school, anyone - to turn up at the door and just veg out on my bed watching a soppy movie. I hate being so far away on days like this. And it's so frustrating because I love it when everyone's here, or when my family come to visit, or when I go home and miss my beautiful housemates. I feel guilty when that happens.

But then what makes it harder is that when I tell people I'm homesick, there's no sympathy at all. I tell my sister and get told off for sending my family on a guilt trip, I tell my boyfriend and am fobbed stuff like "you'll be fine" and "of course you'll have days like this" which never helps. Sorry guys, but I don't want your shitty words, I want your presence.

So anyway.
Fuck this. I'm going to spend another whole day in bed. Because I can.
x.