Goodbye twothousandandnine.

Wow, this year's gone fast.
Like, you look at a year and you think 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months - that's a loooong time, but then it's really not.

January -halfway through A Levels

February - first Valentine's day with Karl
March - Mum's 6th Anniversary.
April - stress.
May - more stress.
June - Exams, exams, exams.
July - Chill.
August - A Level Results!
September - Turned 19, Moved into halls, started life at Hull University
October - flew by, can't even remember it!
November - SAD kicks in.
December - First essay due in, Christmas.

I really can't remember at least half the year!
But the thing is, 2010 is going to be my year.
I'm in love with the best boy in the world, I'm studying my favourite subject, I'm living with the most awesome group of people I've ever met, I'm going to be turning 20 in September and so should start growing up... I've got all I want. And this year, I'm going to make DAMN sure it stays that way. I'm done re-evaluating things, I just want to ride it out. I want to make sure that the love of my life will stay the love of my life, I want to make sure I make it to my second year of University and I desperately need to grow up a bit.

I finally love my life.
I'll start 2010 as I mean to go on.

(Two parties tonight and waking up with my adorable man in the comfiest bed in the world. I'm so excited!)
xxxx

I want to spill. the. beans.

I want to scream from the rooftops about how much I love him.

I want to admit to every person I meet that I want to marry him, and have his gorgeous little babies and grow old and stubborn and grumpy together. We may be going through a bit of a rough patch at the minute but it doesn't mean I'm not in love with the guy. I need him in my life.

He makes sliced bread look crap.

Hibernate.

It's that time of year again.

The cold, the stress, the tears.

Except this year, combine it with a new county, new people, new projects and new authoritative figures.

I've been at Hull Uni for (coming up to) 10 weeks now, and I've settled in better than anyone thought I would. But then there are days where I just need to be at home. Today is one of those days.

Most of my housemates went home for this weekend, leaving me, Shem and Adam here. We've all become pretty insociable and when I woke up this afternoon, I was automatically upset. It could be because nobody came to visit this weekend, it could be because I miss everyone or it could be because I wish I went home too. Probably a combination of all.
This week I missed the Light a Light procession for St. Barnabas Hospice. I go every year and had to miss it this year 'cos I'm stuck out here and had a seminar on Wednesday. Today I really just feel like going "Fuck this" and taking the next train home. But I can't. Or I just want someone - family, a friend from school, anyone - to turn up at the door and just veg out on my bed watching a soppy movie. I hate being so far away on days like this. And it's so frustrating because I love it when everyone's here, or when my family come to visit, or when I go home and miss my beautiful housemates. I feel guilty when that happens.

But then what makes it harder is that when I tell people I'm homesick, there's no sympathy at all. I tell my sister and get told off for sending my family on a guilt trip, I tell my boyfriend and am fobbed stuff like "you'll be fine" and "of course you'll have days like this" which never helps. Sorry guys, but I don't want your shitty words, I want your presence.

So anyway.
Fuck this. I'm going to spend another whole day in bed. Because I can.
x.

If dreams actually came true..

I'd be a very messed up, but very happy girl.

Last night I dreamt for the second time that my mum was alive and had faked her own death to escape "insurance fraud". She came back and promised for the second time she wasn't going away again.
And of course I woke up thinking it was true because it seemed so real and I wanted it so much.


Anyway.

I'm so pleased with myself, I've replaced scoffing snacks with drinking water this week and can already see a difference. Of course, no one else can yet. Give it time.

I've just finished watching Seven Pounds. It's truly heartbreaking. I recommend it.
x.

Busyyyyy

Wow, things are getting hectic!
This weekend my sister and I hung out at my auntie and uncle's and slept in their new 25ft caravan for a couple of nights, then on tuesday boyfriend and I went to charming little Newark to house/cat sit for his workmate for a couple of nights and now I'm chilling out before I'm on the move again.

Tuesday - Trip to Skegness
Wednesday - Facial at Dior!
Thursday - A LEVEL RESULTS!!!! :|
Friday - Pack
Saturday - Going on Holiday
Wednesday 26th - Return
Thursday 27th -Stepmum's birthday and sister's GCSE results.

I really want to buy some gladiator sandals, but cheap ones. Know any?
x.

Soundtrack to my summer so far..

I just wanted to make a massive list of the songs I'm loving this summer.
For future reference :)

Kings of Leon - Only by the Night (Album)
Beyonce - I am Sasha Fierce (Album)
The Killers - Day & Age (Album)
Flo Rida - Mail On Sunday and R.O.O.T.S (Albums)

Mr Hudson featuring Kanye West - Supernova
VV Brown - Shark in the Water
Enter Shikari - No Sleep Tonight
Florence and the Machine - Rabbit Heart
Snow Patrol - The Planets Bend Between Us
The Arcade Fire - Wake Up
Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition
David Guetta featuring Kelly Rowland - When Love Takes Over
Ciara featuring Missy Elliott - Work
Alexisonfire - Young Cardinals
Pitbull - I Know You Want Me


x.

Pathetic Fallacy

I love it when the weather adjusts to match my mood. I just watched the film adaptation of Othello, 'O' and towards the end, the sky got dark and cloudy and it began to rain again. And once that was over, I put and episode of Sex and The City on, and it brightens up.

15 Days until results!


17 Days until I go to Verona!

x.